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My feeling is, in our society, we are not best equipped to deal with death.  It is almost taboo! 

We don't have rehearsals and, when the time comes, not only are we in a state of shock and grief, but often we don't know where to turn for the necessary services.  Sorting out a funeral is a distress purchase - not many people find the space to consider their options.

When you see your local Funeral Director, they will help you with so much of what you need to do. They may not have time to explain all the options around who takes the actual service - or why them.

The choices seem few: Church or Humanist - i.e. God or no God!  Like life itself, there are always more choices - if we ask! Civil Funeral services don't make you choose between the god and the godless.  A person's spirituality is their own, uniquely, and in my experience, it's rarely that simple. Civil Funerals are still relatively unknown in this country.  But they're catching on fast!

These days, only some 11% of our population are regular churchgoers.  It seems we've found other ways to worship, to find spiritual fulfilment - or not.  We often hear the comment: " 'J' wasn't religious but she had her own brand of faith.  Can we have a prayer/hymn for her?"  Absolutely!  And whatever else you feel 'J' would have liked - things that appropriately celebrate that unique soul.

For me, this work began almost as a continuation from my father's funeral.  I felt I had to say something about a man whom so few really understood.  I'm not even sure I did.  But I couldn't let his life pass without at least trying to acknowledge him and all that he had done - for me and others in his life, and how little he had asked in return.  I'm glad I did that.  It made me feel a little better too.  And that got me thinking ...

It isn't easy to say goodbye but this is a chance we have - to get it right - for both them AND us.

Please do get in touch :-)  Call Victoria on 07831 278530

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